I am sitting here, listening to Pandora, thinking of what to write.  I am listening to the Bomba Estereo station.  I should be bopping around in my library computer chair.  A little happy blogger bobblehead.  Pfft.

All I can think of is how empty my head is.  And how tired I am after a full day of work. And how not to become sick by the time I leave town on Thursday.  I am going away for something yet to be revealed, although some of my Facebook friends have an idea of what it’s all about.  The official story is that I am going to a wedding in DC.  I’m also visiting a friend in Baltimore….and someone else…that someone else will be my wedding date.  That is where I am leaving off.  To be continued…

I’m an insomniac.  It goes hand in hand with being bipolar.  Every third night or so my brain will not switch off.  Or it may be misbehaving like it usually does.   

I drink wine.  I bought a thunderstorm CD.  I use a fan.  I’ve taken over-the-counter sleep aides. (I despise sleeping pills and will hold out on that as long as possible.)  It could have something to do with sugar.  I’ve found it helps if I don’t eat any near bedtime.  It all works in varying degrees.  I’ve come to the point where I am used to it and can pretty much function the next day.  

It makes for a zombie day.  I work and work.  Everything flows in and out.  Dramas happen.  I register them and go on to the next thing.  I am in a zone of some sort.  Not always an aware one.  Tasks are automatic.  A good thing for now.

Then I come home and collapse.  Eat a Mom-made supper.  Watch a DVD.  Not a whole lot going on.  I’m here to plow through to the next point of my life.  

This sounds a little depressing compared to what has been written before.  I just happen to be caught in an low-energy point while writing this.  Which is a part of my life like anything else.

But the comforts of home do help.  As I head home, beautiful dusk presents itself as a perfect painting. 

Home is always welcoming.  Wonderful things exist there.  My family.  My cozy cats.

And grilled cheese.  Grilled cheese is one of those things my mother has perfected.  She is a good cook, but her grilled cheese really hits the spot.  A perfect cheese sandwich of gooey salty crunch.  It’s spectacular with soup. 

You may not find it as awesome as I do.  But when I am about to drop, this is my oasis in the desert.  It’s Mom.  It’s home.  It’s miraculous.  

What do we really need in this life anyway?  What do we need to feel comfort, to be at home?  All we really need is loved ones.  A roof.  Water.  And sustenance.  Good sustenance.  (Thanks, Frank.)

Studies have shown that people in third-world countries are happier than the rest of us.  Maybe what it boils down to is that good food shared with good company is all one needs for a happy life.  

I directed Mom to make her grilled cheese yesterday.  I had it for breakfast!

There are essential ingredients involved in making this.  I am absolutist about these.

First there is Cuba Cheese Shop Sharp Cheddar.  Cuba is a town an hour away, and they are known for their cheese.  I’ve mentioned and used their cheese previously here.  They even have a cheese museum!

Smart Balance Buttery Spread.  Don’t laugh at me butter snobs, it’s fab!

Wegmans Homestyle Bread. 

The presentation.  Butter the outsides and place the cheese inside.  Like so.

Broil on low and flip.  Broil more.

And Mom’s trick: Cut with a spatula.  Though do it on a plate.  I couldn’t wait for the plate.